Shark Week

Little Nigel had a birthday party a few weeks ago; a real birthday party with non-related invited guests so I wanted to make it a special day for everyone. Since Little Nigel loves Spongebob Squarepants it was to be a Bikini Bottom-themed party, and it seems that there are very few things that the advertising people won't plaster with pictures of Spongebob And Friends (I expect to see Spongebob Squarepants tampons any day now). Any normal person would have gone down to the party store and picked up a basic Spongebob Party Package, but I have a real problem with giving up my creative control to the guys down at Nickelodeon so instead of doing the normal thing, I chose to use the undersea setting of Bikini Bottom and have a few Spongebob-y details like grilling "Krabby Patties" for the children's lunch. Instead of standard Spongebob-imprinted "goodie bags" filled with sugar and dollar-store crap, I chose to have wheelbarrows full of sand and real seashells for the kids to dig up and keep, providing them with 2-quart-size chinese takeout boxes to put their shells in. The idea of putting a bat through smily, friendly old Spongebob's mug disturbed me, so I chose to make a six-foot-long Great White Shark pinata for the kids to destroy. After sketching out several ideas for construction, it occurred to me that a shark-shaped pool float would be an ideal paper mache mold. Internet Ahoy, and a week later a nice 72" long inflatable shark arrived in the mail. I procured some wallpaper paste and newspaper, smeared the inflated shark with Vaseline and began smoothing newspaper strips in place a week before the party. I planned to make the shark in two halves so I would not have to destroy the pool float, which would leave no margin for error and let's face it, this project was at the corner of Error and Central. Originally, I had imagined making a top and bottom half, but the pool-toy elves had chosen to give their inflatable shark a nice vertical seam so I figured, why not stick to what the inflatable shark designers had chosen. Everyone who has ever made a pinata knows that it will be either too weak or too strong, so I was ready for that, but I had no idea what other problems might arise so I was keeping the plan flexible. Once the two halves of the pinata were dry and off the mold I had to fuse them together somehow and once off the mold the paper mache was extremely flimsy and difficult to work with so I inflated some balloons and taped them inside each half so I would have something to press against as I duct-taped the two halves together. I also made some wire "ribs" that wrapped the two halves together and reinforced the shape. Once the shark was in one piece I gave it another layer of newspaper and paste to hide the wire and the duct tape and give me a smooth surface for spray paint. I popped all the balloons in the middle of the shark, leaving the ones in the nose and tail intact so the candy wouldn't have anywhere to go. I also stuffed the side fins and the rest of the extra space with red confetti, both to keep the candy stable and in the middle of the shark, and for dramatic effect when it was hit with a bat. I spray-painted the belly of the shark white and the body with that speckle-y looks-like-granite paint and dabbed on a couple of eyes. The shark was to be filled with gold-foil-covered chocolate coins five seconds before the shark was hoisted into whacking position because we feared they would melt. Duct tape covered the candy-hole and voila--a Great White Shark pinata! Every kid at the party had a go at poor Bruce The Shark Pinata and even though he had a huge seam running down the middle of his stomach, all he did was bend slightly. One of his fins did get knocked off, trailing red confetti, which was pretty cool. Finally, we got out the "big bat" and gave it to the biggest kid at the party and told him to kill Bruce, which he did and Bruce exploded, showering everyone with red confetti and chocolate coins and shreds and shards of gold foil and chocolate because I think the "killing blow" was a tad more forceful than strictly required. It was a lot of work, but it was so worth it. Next time I'll make The Titanic and fill it with little chocolate people!